Vegas Baby!
by writeallnight
Summary: Surprise Bachelor and Bachelorette parties send Deeks, Kensi, and the rest of the team (plus the Cupcake Girls!) off to Vegas for a weekend of fun and adventure. But things might not quite go according to plan. Will they make it out alive? Or will what happens in Vegas keep them in Vegas...permanently?
1. Surprise!

A/N: So. This is my 100th published fanfic. 100. Wow. It seems absolutely crazy that I've reached this milestone. I had no idea that the little 6th grader who wrote stories about Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn would grow up to do something like this. I won't go on waxing poetically about it here, but I will say thank you to those of you who continuously read my work. Your feedback has lifted my spirits and made me a better writer. You're amazing! Please enjoy the first chapter of NUMBER 100!

* * *

"Chinese or pizza?" Kensi asked as she closed the car door with a resounding thud.

They'd finally returned from an out-of-town case that had involved a bit too much running and dodging bullets for anybody's liking. They'd been living off of vending machine snacks and greasy burgers from the local diner for a week and Kensi saw no reason to stop the trend now that they were home. "Pizza," Deeks said. "With green peppers."

"We are not getting peppers."

"You've eaten nothing but those powdered donuts and Doritos for a week. Your body needs a vegetable."

Kensi glared at him as she pushed the front door open and then was immediately assaulted by screams of, "SURPRISE!"

She had her gun halfway out of its holster before Deeks caught it and pulled it from her hands, tucking it behind his back in one swift movement. As her eyes adjusted she realized why. Their living room was full of pink and black streamers, balloons, and Mindy, Mandy, Kat, Tiffani, and Tiffany, all clad in what could only be described as the world's tiniest black dresses. "What…is going on?" she asked, her head spinning a bit at the sight of it all.

"Surprise!" Mindy said again. "We're here for your bachelorette party."

"My, what?"

"You didn't think we were letting you off the hook did you?" Tiffani asked. "Honey we are doing this right."

"Look we even brought your friend Nell along!" Tiffany said. "She's so fun aren't you NayNay?"

"Very," Nell said from where she'd been sitting unseen on the corner of the couch, a drink in hand. She was still in her work clothes, a sobering contrast to everyone else's attire, but had been draped, probably against her will judging by the expression on her face, with a pink feather boa and wore a light up crown that read _KayKay's Getting Married!._ She lifted her glass. "Mazel tov."

Kat squealed. "We are celebrating you and your man KayKay!"

"Well…um…that's great but I don't think we can do that right now," Kensi said weakly, still trying to wrap her head around the situation. The Cupcake Girls had just invaded her world in a way she wasn't prepared for and "KayKay" was having a hard time finding her footing without a little advance notice.

"Of course you can! Marty helped us set it all up," said Mandy.

"Oh he did?" Kensi looked at him and he grinned in a way that said he knew exactly what he had done and was very much enjoying that he'd blindsided her.

"I just cleared the weekend, they did the rest," he said. "I'm just as in the dark about your plans as you are."

"Oh baby. Wow. That's so sweet," she said through gritted teeth.

"Come on girl! Get changed! Your limo awaits!" Mindy squealed.

Before Kensi knew it she'd been shoved into her own little black dress and pulled out into a limo that was waiting at the end of the drive. "But…where are we going?" she said weakly as Kat wrapped a feather boa around her neck and stuck a crown on her head.

"Vegas baby!" Mindy told her. "Here, have a drink."

"The straws are little dicks," Tiffani said mischievously.

Sure enough the purple straw did resemble a very healthy looking set of male genitalia. "Did you know about all this?" she asked Nell as the limo began to pull out.

"Did I know we were going to Vegas? Yes. Did Deeks leave out the finer details like exactly how much pink would be involved when he asked if he could give my number to Tiffani? Also yes," Nell said.

"I'm going to murder him," Kensi said as the limo began to pull out.

"Oh, don't worry." Nell smirked as she refilled her glass. "His time is coming."

* * *

Deeks was sound asleep in bed and then he was being yanked from it, a hood thrown over his head, his hands bound. "Hey!" he yelled, struggling against his captors. "You're assaulting an LAPD officer!" He kicked hard and made contact with someone who let out a pained yelp.

"Ow! Deeks stop! It's us!"

The hood was ripped off his head and he found himself staring at the male members of his team. Eric, was rubbing his shin, forehead wrinkled in pain. "What the hell are you guys doing?!" Deeks asked, still breathing hard from the struggle.

"It's your bachelor party," Callen said with a shrug.

"Is part of it dragging me out into the woods to murder me?" he asked, holding up his still bound hands. "Because if so I think you're doing it wrong."

"Somebody thought it would be more fun this way," Sam said with a pointed look at Eric.

"It's how they do it in the movies," Eric protested as he began untying Deeks' hands.

"However they do it, I'm not having a bachelor party," Deeks said. He looked down at Monty who was wagging his tail at all of them. "And you? You're in on this too huh, you little traitor? Didn't even bark when they all broke in here."

"Get your duffle bag," Sam said.

"Guy, I'm serious. I don't want to have a bachelor party."

"Well then think of it more as a guy's weekend," Callen said.

"However you think of it, it's mandatory," Sam said.

Deeks rolled his eyes. "Am I allowed to ask where I'm being abducted to?"

"That's for us to know and you to find out," Eric said.

"It's Vegas," Sam said impatiently. "Now go pack your damn stuff so we can go."

"Isn't Eric banned from Vegas?" Deeks asked.

"It's been taken care of," Callen said. "A little wedding gift from Hetty."

"We haven't even set a date yet," Deeks said.

"Think of this as a sign of good faith," Sam said. "We believe you'll get married. Hopefully sometime in this century."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Deeks said.

"You've got ten minutes," Callen said. "We'll be in the car."

* * *

A/N: If you've read any of my other Densi vacation fics you can probably guess that all is not going to go according to plan. Hang in there for chapter two! As always, leave your love in the reviews!


	2. Pajama Party

A/N: Chapter 2 is here people! Things are about to get crazy! Enjoy!

* * *

"Welcome to your bachelorette suite!" Mindy shouted.

An astounding amount of pink covered the room. Apparently they'd had someone come in and decorate ahead of time because not an inch had been spared. Streamers draped half the ceiling and the floor and any leftover space had been filled with balloons. Upon further inspection Kensi found they were covered in naughty sayings and graphics that she hoped weren't an accurate depiction of anybody's body.

"Wow, this is something," she said.

"Oh my gosh they did such an amazing job!" Kat squealed. "Look! Even the confetti is penis shaped!"

"Just what every girl wants; a room of tiny dicks," Nell said, taking another sip of her drink.

"How many of those have you had?" Kensi asked.

"Is this whole room still covered in little pink dicks?"

"Yes."

"Then not enough," she said, heading for the mini bar.

"Do you like it?" Mandy asked. "I know it's not exactly your taste. I tried to get them to lay off the pink, but you know how they are." She gestured at the rest of the group who were tossing rose petals into the air and twirling around in them.

Kensi felt herself soften a little bit. These were her girls and they were trying to give her a good time. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to let them. "It's great," she said. "It's really, really nice. Thank you."

Mandy hugged her, her eyes welling up just a bit. "You deserve this," she said quietly. "Every single bit of happiness. I'm really glad you and Deeks found each other."

Kensi felt her own throat tighten just a bit at the sweetness of her friend. The whole thing did seem like something of a miracle when you looked back on it, even just the small bits her friends knew about. A little celebration didn't seem like a bad idea at all.

"PJ party time!" Tiffani yelled. "Break out the popcorn and booze!"

"We got special PJ's just for you," Mindy said, handing her a telltale pink bag with a swirly VS logo on the front.

It could have been worse. At least the white satin covered most of her lady parts, although she could have done without the pink "BRIDE" emblazoned across her boobs. And she wasn't sure her friends needed matching ones that said BRIDESMAID, but the Cupcake Girls never did anything half assed so here they were. They put on "The Notebook" and plied her with snacks and drinks and she found herself relaxing.

"I'm sorry you got dragged into this," Kensi said to Nell around 2:00am when everyone else had fallen asleep.

"It's okay," Nell said. She'd acquiesced to the skimpy attire but layered it over a long sleeved t-shirt and leggings making her look a little plumper than usual. "I want to support you and your big day."

Kensi looked around at her friends. Mindy was clutching a bottle of Rosé like a teddy bear and Tiffani was wrapped in so many feather boas she looked like an extremely pink version of Big Bird. "You're probably wondering why I'm even friends with them."

"No," Nell said. "I understand. They're your girls. They make you feel like a normal person. They're fun. A little too pink, but genuinely good people."

Kensi smiled. "I'm glad you're here."

"Where you go, I go." She hopped up and pulled on a sweatshirt. "Which means we're both heading out now."

"What?" Kensi looked around at her sleeping friends. "Where?"

Nell just smiled. "Put on some pants and find out."

* * *

"Okay but this is going to be a quiet weekend right?" Deeks said. "Just us guys? Hanging out? A little gambling, a little drinking, nothing we can't talk about on Monday?"

"Of course," Sam said. "A gentleman's weekend."

"Who do you think we are?" Callen asked. "It'll be as tame as can be."

"Or wild and crazy," Eric said with a twinkle in his eye which he extinguished as soon as he caught Sam's glare. "But probably not. Definitely not. Very tame and calm."

"You are going to keep a lid on yourself. This little trip only works if you don't let the evil nerd inside you take over," Sam said.

"Maybe we should just turn the car around," Deeks said.

"Not a chance," Callen said. "Our hotel is non-refundable."

"Speaking of, here we are," Sam said, looking out the window.

They all looked, watching the lights flicker and shine up and down the strip. Eric sighed. "It's good to be home."

They landed in their hotel half an hour later. "So, who's sharing with who?" Eric asked, eying the two beds.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Nobody's sharing. We got two rooms. Plenty of space for everyone. We made sure before we booked it."

"Ooh there's a Jacuzzi in here!" Eric was already in the bathroom.

"Guys you really didn't have to do this," Deeks said as he set his bag down.

"Of course we did," Callen said. "It's been a tough road. You deserve an amazing wedding and a little fun."

"Who's ready to hit the floor?" Eric asked, practically bouncing with excitement. "Craps? Blackjack? Roulette? What are we thinking?"

"Easy," Sam said. "We're not going down tonight. We've got an early morning so get to bed."

"Bed?" Eric was crestfallen. "We just got here."

"All the gambling will still be there tomorrow," Callen promised, patting him on the shoulder. "We'll see you guys bright and early."

They went through the connecting door to their own room and Deeks heard the lock click firmly into place. Some teammates they were, leaving him with the crazy nerd. Eric had hopped himself up on Red Bull during the car ride and Deeks could only pray he would crash and pass out in the near future.

There was a knock on the door. "Tell me you didn't order strippers," Deeks said, a small part of him convinced that Eric would have done something just that crazy.

"I don't even know how to do that," Eric said. "Is there like a number you call? A website?"

Deeks opened the door. "Heya Shaggy," Nell said with a smile.

"You know I could swear I know a girl who looks just like you and she's definitely not a stripper," Deeks said.

"Deeks?" Kensi stepped around the corner, surprise all over her face.

He raised his eyebrows. "Kensi? Do you have something you need to tell me?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Apparently I'm having a bachelor party against my will."

"You're going to have fun!" Eric said.

"You tried to abduct me from my bed!"

"It's part of the fun!"

"As part of our gift to you for the weekend, you two get to spend the night alone in this beautiful hotel room," Nell said, grabbing Eric's hand and pulling him toward the door. "Have a good time. Be back by 6:00."

With that they were gone. "Well this is unexpected," Deeks said.

"Yeah a little. Thanks for leaving me at the mercy of the Cupcake Girls."

"Baby, you deserve a fun weekend with your girls. Things have been so stressful. I just wanted you to go and have a good time."

"And you? Are you going to have a good time with the boys this weekend?" she asked, putting her hands on his chest.

"Well honestly, I would have rather stayed home with you. And I kind of thought there would be strippers," he said with a grin.

She gripped his shirt, standing up on tiptoe, her words coming out on a whisper. "Then it's a good thing I'm here."

His lips crashed against hers, stealing the breath from both of their lungs. She jumped up, wrapping her legs around him and he carried her over to the bed. He pressed his body to hers and she responded in kind, molding herself to him until he thought he would explode. She tugged at his shirt and he pulled it off and then returned to pressing kisses on her collarbone. "This definitely wasn't how I expected tonight to go," he murmured.

"Still wish there were strippers?"

"Absolutely not."

* * *

Kensi slipped back into the suite at 5:57am. Her friends were still passed out cold. She jumped when the door opened behind her and Nell snuck back in. "Where have you been?" she asked.

"Um…someplace else so that you and your fiancé could have a little privacy," Nell said saucily. "Tell me you had fun."

Kensi felt herself flush. "Yeah, we had fun."

"Good. Now go look like you got some sleep so when everybody wakes up they don't suspect a thing."

* * *

A/N: The fun is just beginning folks! Leave your love in the reviews!


	3. Jennifer Lawrence

A/N: Chapter three everyone! The shenanigans continue as the team takes Vegas by storm. Enjoy!

* * *

When the Cupcake Girls had finally managed to wake up they'd informed Kensi she was having spa day. They'd showered, dressed, and headed downstairs. Kensi felt her stomach growl a bit as they passed one of the hotel restaurants. She'd forgotten that the Cupcake Girls had a pretty weird diet that mainly consisted of avoiding food all day, then drinking as much alcohol and eating as many sweets as their bodies could hold at night, hence the nickname.

"Welcome to the Meridian Spa. Which of you is our bride today?" a chipper receptionist asked.

"KayKay is!" Kat pushed her to the front of the group.

"Congratulations! Today you'll be receiving the full bride and bridesmaid package. Facials, a massage, body wrap and a mani/pedi, and time in our Oasis Relaxation Room, plus access to our lunch buffet. We have the best chef in Las Vegas on staff."

"I will see you there," Nell said, turning in the direction of the dining room.

Kensi grabbed her arm. "Oh no. If I have to do this, so do you."

"I don't really like people touching me…"

"That's not what you said to Eric in the burn room last week," Kensi hissed in her ear.

Nell glared at her. "You fight dirty Blye."

They were all taken to change into robes and before Kensi knew it her face had been slathered in cream, which, she had to admit, actually felt pretty nice. She closed her eyes and thought back to the night before, remembering the feel of Deeks' hands on her body, his lips, the words he'd whispered…

Someone nudged her elbow, startling her. "You're snoring," Nell said.

"Didn't you get enough sleep last night?" Tiffani called from across the room. "Those beds are super comfy."

"Um…yes. Yep. It's just so relaxing in here," Kensi said quickly. The girls would absolutely approve of last night's activities, but she didn't really feel like sharing.

Two hours, a massage and facial scrub later, the situation had turned dire. "If I don't get some food soon I might eat one of your friends," Nell hissed as they headed for the Oasis Relaxation Room. "What is the point of having a lunch buffet if there's no time to visit the lunch buffet?!"

Kensi's stomach rumbled in response. It felt like it was eating itself. "Okay, we need some kind of distraction and then we'll slip away and stuff our faces as fast as we can."

"OH MY GOD!" Nell shrieked, startling everyone. "Is that Jennifer Lawrence?!"

The entire group of Cupcake Girls turned as one in the direction she pointed. "Where?!" Tiffani asked.

"She went around that corner!" Nell said.

Kensi pressed herself against the wall as her friends stampeded past. "You are a mastermind," she said, but Nell was already gone.

By the time Kensi caught up to her in the dining room she'd already loaded half the buffet onto her plate. "You move awfully fast for someone who spends most of her days staring at a computer," Kensi said.

Nell was shoveling shrimp cocktail into her mouth at a truly impressive rate. "Try the avocado toast. It's really good."

Kensi followed Nell's lead and filled her own plate. They had about three, glorious minutes before Kat rounded the corner. "Hey you two! Did you get lost?"  
"Uh, no," Kensi said, swallowing the tea sandwich she'd shoved whole into her mouth. "Did you find Jennifer Lawrence?"

"No," Kat looked crestfallen. "We even asked at the front desk but of course they 'can't say' who their clients are. Come on. It's time for the Oasis Room!"

"But I didn't get any bruschetta," Kensi said, looking longingly over her shoulder.

"We'll eat later! Come on, we only have thirty minutes in there."

Nell was shoving more shrimp into a napkin and she tucked it into her pocket as Kat lead them to their next appointment. "We don't know when there will be food again," she said ominously.

Kensi wished she'd done the same.

* * *

"Rise and shine Deeks."

He grunted and shielded his eyes as Sam pulled the curtains back letting sunshine flood the room. "Five more minutes Mom," he moaned.

"Let's go. We've got a schedule to keep."

"Isn't this my bachelor party? Shouldn't I get a say in what's going on?"

"If you had your way we wouldn't be here at all," Callen said. "Get up. Get dressed. We've got places to be."

"At 9:00am?" Deeks asked. "Isn't Vegas a sleep all day, party all night kind of town?"

"You would think so. But we let Eric pick this activity. And you wouldn't want to hurt his feelings, right?" Callen looked around the room. "Speaking of which, where is Eric?"

Before Deeks had time to answer the door swung open and Eric appeared. "Oh. Hey guys."

"Where have you been?" Sam asked.

"Uh…nowhere," he said quickly. "Morning stroll. Just a jaunt around the grounds. Really fascinating architecture. I'm just going to hit the showers and then off we go!"

He closed the bathroom door behind him. "He's a bad liar," Sam said.

"A very bad liar," Callen said.

"Umm…Deeks?" Eric stuck his head out of the bathroom and delicately held up a pair of lacy, black panties. "I think these might belong to you."

Deeks snatched them from his hand, gritting his teeth. "Thanks buddy."

Sam raised his eyebrows. "Well, well, well. What exactly did you two get up to last night?"

"As it turns out, Kensi and Nell are here," Deeks said as he shoved Kensi's underwear deep into his suitcase.

"Here we take you away to Vegas and you provide your own entertainment," Callen said with a grin.

"Beale hurry up!" Deeks yelled.

* * *

"Hello and welcome to Escape Las Vegas, a thrilling adventure of teamwork and fun," a man in a neon green t-shirt said in a way that suggested he didn't get paid nearly enough to put up with the rigors of his job. His nametag said "Dan" and his face said he'd rather be at home playing video games.

"This is what you picked?" Sam asked, looking around the escape room facility. "Eric this is what we get paid to do every day."

"Which is why I thought it might be fun!" Eric said. "Come on! How often do all four of us get to put our collective skills to work at the same time?"

"Every day Eric. Every. Single. Day." Callen said in exasperation.

"I'll tell you what, if you can get us out of here in less than five minutes, I'll buy the first round tonight," he challenged.

"Are you guys doing this or what? It's non-refundable and I've got another group coming in thirty minutes," Dan said.

"Yes," Eric said firmly.

"Fabulous," Dan said. "You have one hour to release the key and escape the room. Please do not break any objects in the room. Please do not engage in any sexual activities in the room. Alcohol and drugs are strictly prohibited in the room. You will be recorded at all times and the authorities will be called immediately should vandalism or lewd behavior of any kind occur in the room. Enjoy your adventure," he said, pulling the door closed behind him in a way that made Deeks sincerely doubt he cared whether or not they enjoyed themselves.

"All right boys," Eric said, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. "Where should we start? Ooh! I'll look in that desk over there! Maybe there's a hidden compartment!"

Sam walked over to a table and reached underneath, pulling out a box. "Read me the numbers in that fish tank."

Deeks looked at the small tank in the corner and saw numbers written in the sand on the bottom. "7246."

Sam input the combination and the box opened, releasing a key. He walked to the door and unlocked it. "Can we go now?"

"But…how did you…?" Eric spluttered.

"Federal Agents Beale," Callen said, following his partner out the door. "First round is on you. And probably the second too."

Deeks patted his shoulder. "It was a good try buddy."

* * *

A/N: Leave your love in the reviews!


	4. Fernando

A/N: Things are about to get fun folks! This chapter is a little short but I promise, the next one will be worth the wait!

* * *

Kensi had been plucked and rubbed and pampered within an inch of her life by the time they finally left the spa and went upstairs to change for a night on the town. The girls were being suspiciously tight lipped about their evening plan, which made Kensi assume that whatever it was, she was going to hate it.

The little black dresses and boas had made a reappearance. Tiffani was liberally applying mascara to Kensi's lashes as the rest of the girls scurried around the room looking for lost high heels and lipstick.

"Would you hurry up? They're going to drop our res," Mandy said impatiently.

"And where exactly is that reservation?" Kensi asked as Tiffani switched to blush.

"That's for us to know and you to find out!" Mindy said turning this way and that as she tried to take a selfie.

Nell stepped out of the bathroom and Kensi's eyes widened. "Woooow," she said.

Nell's style typically ran cute to retro with not much else in between. But tonight she'd strapped on black stilettos and was wearing a dress that showed off an impressive amount of cleavage. Nell looked at herself in the mirror and shrugged. "I know a thing or two about going out on the town," she said and then leaned closer so only Kensi could hear. "And what's the point of having a wardrobe room if we never get to use it?"

"And where exactly are we going out on the town?" Kensi asked for what felt like the millionth time.

Nell shook her head. "Not a clue. But if there's no food there, I'm quitting this party and going rogue."

"Drinks!" Kat called, handing out glasses of pink champagne.

By the time they hit the streets Kensi was already a little tipsy, the lack of food and overabundance of alcohol going straight to her head. Much to her chagrin the rest of the Cupcake Girls seemed to be having no trouble at all. There was a time when even Sam couldn't drink her under the table and tonight she was, by all definitions, a lightweight.

She was so busy trying to walk straight that she didn't even notice they'd reached their destination until they were inside. The tables in the room were filled mostly with women and a stage with a catwalk that ran down the middle of the room. "Um…where are we?" Kensi asked.

The girls ignored her and perused their menus. "Which do you think has a higher fat content, the tilapia or the grilled chicken with pesto?" Tiffany asked.

"Ladies! What is this place?" Kensi asked.

"It's dinner and a show Kay," Mandy said.

Kensi looked at the stage and realization dawned on her. "What kind of show?"

Mindy smiled mischieviously. "The naked kind."

Kensi felt her face grow warm as realization dawned on her. She should have seen it coming a mile away. "Is this a strip club?!"

Nell finally looked up from her menu and nodded. "Oh yeah, this is definitely a strip club."

"It's not a club," Tiffani said. "It's an interactive theatre experience. With stripping. A lot of stripping."

"I can't be in a strip club!" Kensi hissed.

"Oh come on KayKay. Do you really think Deeks is going to keep his bachelor party stripper free?" Mandy asked. "It's what you do. It's no big deal."

Kensi looked at Nell. "You can't seriously think Eric would be okay with this."

"There are more boobs in the video games he plays than he's ever seen in real life," Nell said. "It's not a big deal."

She knew Deeks had been to clubs before, hell, her man had been an exotic dancer and she'd been on the receiving end of those charms on several occasions. But since they'd been together neither of them had felt the need to see anyone naked besides each other. And since neither of them had planned on having a night out to celebrate they hadn't talked about the possibility of watching such a display.

"It'll be fun KayKay!" Mindy said. "They don't get totally naked anyway. Just mostly. In a very seductive way. Ooh! I'm getting mozzarella sticks! Who else wants them?"

Their server had arrived at the table and was taking Nell's order. "Three shrimp cocktails. Wait! No. Four. Five. No four. Four is good," Nell said. "And like as soon as you can."

Kensi pulled out her phone and texted Deeks under the table.

 **Babe. They took me to a strip club.**

She waited while he wrote back. **Of course they did.**

Kensi blinked at her phone. That was no help. She typed furiously. **Are you okay with that?**

 **Are you going to leave me for a stripper named Fernando who's dressed like a cowboy?**

She rolled her eyes. **I might if he has better moves than you.**

 **He doesn't. His overly exaggerated hip rolls are compensating for low self esteem. Have fun.**

She tucked her phone away as the server came to her side of the table. "A Manhattan. A big one."

A roar went up from the crowd as the lights dimmed. "Here," Kat shoved a wad of one dollar bills into her hand.

Kensi stared at the money and then looked back at the server. "Make it two Manhattans." If she was going to survive tonight she was going to need a lot of alcohol. And possibly a blindfold.

* * *

A/N: We'll check in with the boys again soon! Leave your love in the reviews!


	5. Pony

A/N: This is the chapter that inspired this whooooole story folks. It came to me one night and I literally could not stop giggling as I pictured it. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Let's find out what the boys are up to!

* * *

"Thank you Hetty for the use of the wardrobe room," Callen said, checking out his tux in the mirrored doors of the elevator.

"Does Hetty know you took four tuxes from the Mission?" Deeks asked.

Callen shrugged. "What she doesn't know won't hurt her. And we'll have them back safe and sound by 8:00am Monday morning."

They'd gussied up for the evening and were headed downstairs to start some good old-fashioned gambling. Eric was nearly out of his mind with excitement.

Deeks and Sam found their way to a craps table while Callen went to babysit Eric at a poker game. Drinks were ordered and Deeks was just starting to relax when his phone buzzed with a text from his fiancée. He snorted and began typing back. "Kensi's at a strip club."

Sam raised his eyebrows. "You okay with that?"

"She's a free woman. And I know who she goes home to every night. It's her bachelorette party. It'll be fun."

Sam shook his head. "Do you know your partner at all? She's going to hate that."

"Well then I'll have fun imagining her hating it," he said with a smile, returning his attention to the game.

"We have to go." Callen appeared out of nowhere, a wide-eyed Eric at his side. "Right now."

"What's wrong?" Sam asked, already rising from his seat.

"See those guys over there?" Callen nodded to the corner where three men were watching them, their hands on some not-so-subtly concealed guns. "They just recognized Eric."

"How do you know?" Deeks asked.

"Because I recognized them first. And then one of them said 'Beale' and pointed at me," Eric said anxiously.

"I thought Hetty took care of this!" Deeks said as they walked toward the exit.

"Apparently not as well as she thought she did," Callen said. "Walk faster."

They headed out into the street, the lights making it seem like daytime even though it was well after 10:00pm. "Anybody got a plan?" Sam asked, his eyes searching the streets for any signs of additional trouble.

"No chance they'll listen to reason?" Deeks asked.

"I was VERY good at poker," Eric said.

"You mean you were very good at cheating at poker," Sam said.

"Counting cards shouldn't be illegal!"

The men with guns burst out of the casino doors. "This way!" Callen said, taking a hard left.

Deeks felt his jacket rip as he ran. Hetty was going to be pissed. They turned down an alley and he spotted a door slightly ajar. "In here!" he said.

They darted inside and Sam pushed the door shut behind them. Almost immediately pounding could be heard from outside along with muffled yells.

"Where the hell are we?" Sam asked as he braced himself against the door.

The space was small and narrow with a musty smell. It was also dimly lit making it hard to see. Deeks could hear the strangely muffled noise of people nearby. The floor was uneven and he tripped, bumping into Eric who nearly went to his knees.

Something started slamming against the door. "We need to get out of here," Callen said.

Deeks touched the wall and realized it wasn't a wall at all but rather a heavy curtain. "Through here!"

Deeks heard the door crash open and got a glimpse of their adversaries just as the team pushed their way through the dusty fabric.

Callen shielded his eyes as they were all immediately blinded by light. "What the…?"

There was a distinctly feminine catcall and then Deeks' eyes adjusted to see a room full of mostly women, all dressed in party attire. "What the hell is this?" Sam asked.

Music started. Sexy music. Music Deeks knew all too well. His eyes widened as he put all the pieces together. "Shit."

Tiffani squinted. "KayKay, that guy in the middle looks EXACTLY like Marty."

Kensi turned around in her chair and her eyes widened. "Oh shit."

"What?" Nell looked up from her third shrimp cocktail and choked. "Oh my god."

Deeks looked toward the wings and saw three distinct outlines looking hesitantly toward the stage. There was literally only one choice. And his team was going to hate it. "I hope everybody stretched this morning," Deeks said as he stepped to the front of the stage and struck a pose.

"This isn't happening," Kensi said.

"Oh it's happening," Nell said, shoving another shrimp into her mouth, her eyes wide with excitement.

The music began in earnest and Deeks wiggled his hips to the beat. "What are you doing?" Callen asked over the din of the crowd.

"In case you hadn't noticed, we're in a strip club," Deeks said as music continued to blare through the speakers. "And there are men with guns on the other side of that curtain."

"What do we do?" Eric asked.

"Strip or perish."

"What?!"

"Strip or perish!" Deeks ripped open his shirt and all the women screamed.

Kensi gripped the edge of the table. "I think I'm gonna pass out."

"I feel very uncomfortable," Eric said as he tried to wiggle his hips the same way Deeks was doing.

"Weren't you in high school theater?!" Deeks asked. "Let it loose Beale! I can't carry this thing by myself."

Eric met his eyes. "I have always wanted to be in a production of Hair." He pulled his shirt open too as the music grew louder. "Everybody follow my lead!" Deeks yelled.

"Like this?" Callen had apparently realized the gravity of the situation and was doing kind of an awkward shoulder shimmy in an attempt to blend in with the group.

"Okay just…" Deeks reached over and ripped the team leader's shirt open himself. There were screams of delight as buttons showered the audience.

Deeks turned to Sam who glared at him. "Don't you touch me," he warned.

"TAKE IT OFF!" someone screamed.

Deeks grimaced. "Sorry buddy. Life or death."

He ripped Sam's shirt open and the audience went crazy. "Bodyroll!" Deeks yelled, leading them down the catwalk. "In 5, 6, 7, 8!"

"I'm dreaming. Tell me I'm dreaming," Kensi said.

"Yeah baby take it all off!" Nell screamed, her eyes on the stage and Eric's gyrating hips.

Clearly Kensi wasn't getting any help there.

Deeks called out steps as the rest of the team tried to follow along. He pulled his shirt off completely and swung it over his head, a little surprised at how fast all the moves came back. It might have been twenty years since Magic Marty had put on a show in such a formal setting, but apparently he hadn't lost a step.

Things started to go off the rails when Eric got a little too confident. He jiggled his way to the front of the catwalk and whipped his glasses off, tossing them into the crowd.

Someone tucked a bill into his pants and he locked eyes with her, gulping in surprise. "Nell?!"

"Looking good baby!" she yelled back.

He scrambled back, nearly knocking Sam over. "How long do we have to do this?" Callen asked desperately over the roar of crowd. He definitely didn't have the hips for this kind of work.

Deeks began to thrust his pelvis toward the audience. "Okay. At the end of the song the lights will probably go down. Then we can make a run for it through that side exit," he yelled back. "Until then, keep it going. Freestyle!"

"What the hell do you mean freestyle?" Sam asked, shaking his leg free from a woman who'd latched onto it with all her might and was screaming, "I want to have your babies!"

Deeks dropped to his knees by the edge of the stage and grabbed a water bottle from someone's table. Ripping off the cap he held it over his head and drenched himself.

As he shook the water out of his eyes they found two familiar ones in the front row. "Kensi?"

"Deeks!" she yelled, her face contorted in that 'I'm going to kill you' kind of way. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Baby, there's an explanation but I can't—" Sam grabbed his arm and hauled him up. "I'm sorry!" he yelled desperately as he took center stage once more.

"Not as sorry are you're gonna be!" she yelled back.

The music reached its climax. "Strike a pose!" Deeks yelled as the final chord slammed through the room.

The lights dimmed and they jumped off the stage. "Excuse me, hi, I might have miscalculated, has anyone seen my glasses?" Eric asked as they pushed through the crowd. "I just, I can't really see without them. Oh, thank you."

A woman with purple hair put them in his hands and he shoved them back on his nose as they headed for the doors.

* * *

A/N: I'm so curious, did any of you see it coming?! For the record, I imagine the song the boys are dancing to is "Pony" by Ginuwine. It is a delightful image and one I will treasure forever. Leave your love in the reviews!


	6. Private Party

A/N: We're almost to the end! Will the boys get safely out of Vegas? Or will Kensi and Nell murder them with their bare hands? Read on to find out!

* * *

"I have to go to the bathroom!" Kensi shot out of her chair and stumbled toward the door, her balance somewhat affected by the number of drinks she'd consumed.

"Me too!" Nell shouted, grabbing her final shrimp cocktail and hightailing it after her friend. "Curator emergency!"

Tiffani looked at the rest of the group. "What the hell constitutes a curator emergency?"

Kensi and Nell pushed their way through the crowd and caught the boys just after they'd escaped the building. Callen was still trying to get his pants back on and Sam was making a futile attempt to re-button a shirt that now sported only two buttons. "What. The. Hell. Are. You. Doing?" Kensi asked through gritted teeth, wavering unsteadily on the sidewalk.

"Okay, first of all, it's Eric's fault," Deeks said, his shirt flapping in the breeze.

"Baby! I'm so proud of you!" Nell practically tackled him to the ground in a hug.

"Yeah I'm going to need a little more than that to explain why my _fiancé_ felt the need to burst into a room full of horny women and perform," Kensi looked around and lowered her voice, "a show that until tonight had been for my eyes only."

"A little focus right now would be appreciated," Sam said. "There are men with guns and we need to get out of here before they come back."

Kensi stared at them. "Men with guns? What the heck did you guys do today?"

"Explanations later. We need somewhere to hide out right now," Callen said. He glanced down at his pants, which were now held together by only the button; the zipper had been ripped beyond repair. "And maybe new clothes."

Kensi shook her head. "Why don't we go back to the bachelorette suite? They won't be looking for you there. It'll buy you a little time."

"Lead the way," Sam said.

"Nell," Kensi turned to look at her friend and grimaced. "Seriously?"

Nell had pushed Eric up against a wall and was making out with him as if their lives depended on it. It didn't help that Eric was already basically shirtless and his pants were slowly sliding back down to his ankles. "Hey!" Callen barked. "Life or death situation here! You two mind saving that for later? Or maybe for never?"

Nell reluctantly pulled away leaving Eric looking slightly drunk. "Fine. Let's go back to the hotel. How are you going to hold off the rest of the girls?"

"I'll just text them and tell them I'm sick and to have a good time without us."

"They'll buy that?" Sam asked.

"Nothing has ever stopped the Cupcake Girls from having a good time," Kensi said.

"Let's go. Any sign of trouble we split up," Callen said.

Kensi stumbled as they started to walk and Deeks grabbed her hand to keep her from tumbling to the pavement. "You okay?"

"I am…a little drunk," Kensi said.

"She's a lot drunk," Nell corrected. "So am I."

"Perfect," Sam grumbled. "Let's try not to make a spectacle of ourselves."

"Oh I think it's safe to say that ship has sailed boys," Nell said.

Half an hour later they were safely in the hotel. Nell had gone down to the gift shop to try and find something suitable for the boys to wear and Kensi had locked herself in the bathroom.

"So," Callen said, looking around the room, "this is what a bachelorette party looks like."

Sam started to sit down on the couch and immediately jumped back up, pulling a penis shaped balloon out from behind himself. "Aw hell. What, what is happening?" he sputtered. "This was supposed to be a nice, calm, gentlemen's weekend. And now we're stuck in a room full of pink balloons and confetti!"

"I'm really sorry," Eric said miserably. He still had some of Nell's lipstick on his neck and chest. "This is all my fault."

"No it's not," Deeks said. "It's nobody's fault. It just…happened."

"Why does it seem to always happen to us?" Callen asked.

Deeks shrugged. "Hetty?"

They all nodded. "Hetty."

Nell returned holding several bags bearing the hotel's logo. "Okay there wasn't a lot of choice. A bus tour of seniors from Wichita just came through, but I think everything will fit."

Sam held up a tank-top that said _LAS VEGAS_ in glittery letters. "Nell come on!"

"It was all they had!"

"Oh no way." Deeks held up a pair of black shorts that said _VEGAS BABY_ across the butt. "Seriously Velma?"

"Hey, I'm not the one who ended up stripping off my clothes in front of the masses to avoid being shot," she said. "I'm going to check on Kensi. Either put the clothes on or go naked. I don't care."

She disappeared into the bathroom, leaving the guys to put on their new garb alone. "We look like a high school cheer squad," Sam said.

"Actually my legs look really good in these shorts," Eric said, twisting this way and that to get a better look.

"Well the good news is I got us a flight back to LA that leaves in an hour," Callen said, attempting unsuccessfully to put the phone in his tiny shorts pocket. "Don't women need working pockets? Why are these so small?"

"To make our butts look better." Nell exited the bathroom, munching on a shrimp.

"Where did you get that?" Deeks asked incredulously.

"Every woman has their secrets Deeks," she said cheekily. "So, you boys flying the coop?"

"Yeah we need to get headed to the airport," Callen said.

"How's Kensi?" Deeks asked.

"Still drunk," Nell said. "Probably because she's sitting in there downing a bottle of extremely cheap wine by herself."

"What?" Deeks got up and walked into the bathroom to find his fiancée sitting on the floor holding a bottle of rosé. "Babe what are you doing?"

"Trying to erase the mental image of my entire team shaking their junk on stage in front of my best friends." She blinked up at him blearily. "Why do you look like you joined a girl's dance team? Are you guys making a permanent career change?"

He sat down next to her and gently pried the bottle from her fingers. "It was all Nell could find in the gift shop. And it was a life or death situation babe."

She giggled. "Did you see the way Callen had to watch his hips because he wasn't sure if they were moving or not?"

He nodded. "I did."

"And Sam! Sam trying to do that bodyroll!" She snorted and buried her face in his chest.

"It is definitely something I will never forget."

She popped her head back up and looked at him seriously. "You were great. Like really great." She grabbed his face to make sure he was looking at her. "Great."

He tried not to laugh. Half an hour ago she'd been furious and now it looked like she was about to ask for a repeat performance. "Thanks babe."

"Hey," Nell poked her head in. "You guys have to hit the road."

"Where are you going?" Kensi asked in confusion.

"We have to get out of dodge. But I'll see you when you get home tomorrow."

"Um, Nell?" Eric's anxious call from the room had all three of them going to the door, Deeks holding tightly onto Kensi's arm as she swayed unsteadily.

Eric, Sam, and Callen were standing awkwardly in their gift store finery watching as all the Cupcake Girls filed into the room mouths agape. "Oh. My. God," Kat said.

"You brought the strippers back to the hotel?! This is why you left?!" Mindy cried.

There was a moment of stunned silence. "Yes!" Nell said. "Yes, I asked the strippers to come back to the hotel for a private performance."

"Oh my god KayKay. I have never been more proud of you," Tiffani said in awe.

"Yep, well, they have to go now. They have another show to get to," Nell said.

"Awww!" all the girls groaned in disappointment.

"You do?" Kensi asked Deeks with wide eyes.

"No, babe," Deeks said quietly.

"Yep, sorry ladies. We're off to entertain other women with our bodies," Eric said jovially.

"Hahaha," Nell said through gritted teeth. "Thanks again guys. It was fun!"

Deeks made sure Kensi was braced against the wall so she wouldn't fall when he leter go. "Try not to have too much fun," he said softly.

"But why are you leaving?" She squinted at him and grabbed his arm. "Who are you stripping for now?"

"No one but you babe," he said, smiling in spite of himself.

"Kensi, let the nice stripper go," Nell said, gently pulling Kensi's fingers off his arm.

"Nell, that's not a stripper, that's Deeks," Kensi whispered loudly.

The Cupcake Girls tittered with laughter. "Someone's been hitting the rosé awfully hard," Mandy said.

"Yep she has. Now scoot boys. No more of your naked shenanigans in here. The bride needs to get to bed." Nell shooed them out the door.

Deeks was the last to leave. "I'll take care of her," Nell said before he could speak. "Just get home safely and try to keep your clothes on while doing it." She looked behind him and pointed at Eric. "Especially you."

The door closed and Deeks looked at his team. "You heard the lady. Home we go, with our clothes on and our dignity left just…all over the floor of that club."

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading! Leave your love in the reviews!


	7. What Happens in Vegas

A/N: We've reached the end, dear readers! The party is almost over, but with the wedding on the horizon I think the fun is just about to begin. Thanks for reading along and being so supportive! I hope you enjoy the rest of the team's antics!

* * *

The flight back to Los Angeles was quiet. All four of them were stewing in the embarrassment of what they had done and the longer Deeks thought about it, the worse it seemed. "I really twerked, didn't I?" Eric said faintly an hour into the trip.

"Yeah buddy. You did," Deeks said, patting his arm.

"Okay." He thought for another minute. "Did it seem like Nell liked it?"

"I'm not having this conversation," Sam said immediately.

"But—"

"No."

They sat in relative silence again. "Would you please sit still?" Sam asked, sending a pointed look at his partner.

"I can't help it," Callen said as he squirmed in his seat. "These shorts are riding up my ass. And they have completely non-functional pockets. How do women deal with this?!"

"G, everyone's shorts are up their ass. We have like twenty minutes left. Just deal with it," Sam said through gritted teeth.

They'd had to dash through the airport to make the flight, which left no time to find more suitable attire. Nell had promised to retrieve their bags from the hotel room and bring them back to LA. They'd been given some strange looks by the flight crew, but a stony glare from an extremely grouchy Sam Hanna had stopped the questions before they started.

Deeks wanted to sleep. He wanted his bed and his dog and a beer and to pretend this whole weekend had never happened. He'd never wanted it in the first place and it had ended even worse than he could have imagined.

Eric ordered a Lyft and it picked them up as soon as they disembarked. Deeks felt himself drifting off and was awoken forty minutes later by Callen asking, "What are we doing here?"

Deeks roused enough to look out the window and found they were not at his house, but the mission.

"Okay," Eric said, holding up his hands. "Just hear me out."

"Damn it Eric!" Sam said. "Come on!"

Eric ignored him. Deeks admired him slightly for it. "I know this weekend didn't go according to plan. But Deeks deserves a good bachelor party. We can't just admit defeat."

"Oh yes we can," Callen said, still tugging futilely on his shorts.

"Did we admit defeat when you all were dragging your sorry butts through the Mexican desert?" Eric asked indignantly. "No. How about when Hetty was captured in Vietnam? Not then either. If we can make it through life or death situations we can at least turn this bachelor party into something to remember. Now go inside and find something to wear that doesn't make us look like a bunch of high school girls! You have ten minutes. Go!" he insisted when none of them moved.

"Beale's getting awfully ballsy," Deeks said as they trudged through the doors. "I don't think I like it."

"One night of stripping and suddenly he thinks he's in charge," Sam grumbled, pulling a t-shirt from his locker.

They wandered back out to the car fully clothed. Deeks had never in his life been so grateful for jeans that fit. "Eric, your plan better include all of us going home to our own beds," Callen said.

"You're just going to have to trust me on this one," Eric said. "Everybody in."

They took off and Deeks was wondering just how badly it would hurt to bail out of the car while it was in motion when they stopped. He squinted out the window. "The beach?"  
"Come on," Eric encouraged, shooing them all out into the early morning.

The place was deserted, the sun just starting to come up.

Eric pulled something from the trunk and held it up. "Wetsuits?" Deeks asked.

"What says 'Deeks' more than surfing?" Eric said with a grin.

"Oh, now we're talking." Deeks grabbed the wetsuit and within minutes the entire team was submerged in the water, rented surfboards in hand.

Deeks floated on the surface, letting the sunshine wash over him as he looked at his friends. They'd tried. They'd really tried to give him a fun weekend. It wasn't really their fault things hadn't worked out. Well, it was kind of Eric's fault, but the ocean had him in a forgiving mood. "Thanks guys."

"Let's just hope your honeymoon goes better than this trip," Sam said.

"If the way he wiggles his hips is any indication it should go really well," Callen said with a grin.

Deeks shook his head and smiled. They might drive him crazy, but he was grateful for their friendship. Even if it sometimes meant they ended up stripping in front of his fiancée.

* * *

If there was one thing the Cupcake Girls loved more than spa days and late night sugar, it was brunch. So it was no surprise that when Kensi finally opened her eyes on Sunday morning the girls immediately shoved her into yet another dress.

She was exceptionally hung-over from all the cheap wine of the night before, but the smell of pancakes and bacon perked her up a bit. The girls spent several hours enjoying mimosas and eggs benedict before packing up and hopping in the limo to head back to LA.

"Okay, okay!" Tiffani tapped her champagne glass as the strip flew by out the window. "I have something to say." She waited until she had everyone's attention. "KayKay, when we met, I had no idea that you would become one of my best friends. You are truly one of the most amazing people I've ever met. You've always been there for all of us and we just love you so much." She began to choke up and Kensi found her own eyes filling with tears.

These silly girls meant so much to her. They'd kept her tethered to the real world and reminded her that there was life outside of kicking ass and interrogating suspects. They'd been there for every significant moment of her adult life. They didn't care if she hadn't seen or talked to them in months, they picked up the phone the second she needed them and were at her apartment with booze and chocolate in hand. And they had welcomed Deeks with open arms and nothing but love.

"We are all just so happy that you and Deeks found each other. You are absolutely perfect together and we wish you all the best," she sniffed and raised her glass. "To Kensi and Deeks."

The girls all echoed her and Kensi smiled as they clinked glasses. "Okay, enough crying girls!" Mindy said. "We've got presents to open!"

Gift bags appeared out of nowhere and Kensi felt her cheeks go slightly pink. She was no prude, but the girls were extremely open about their sex lives and, despite her best effort, she felt like they knew more about what she and Deeks did in their private time than she ever wanted anyone to know.

She opened the first bag praying that the only thing inside would be lingerie and not something more scandalous. She'd been to Mandy's bachelorette two years earlier and thought she might never forget some of the things that had come wrapped in sparkly pink paper.

Fortunately all she got were some sexy nightie sets, a pair of fuzzy handcuffs (she did not tell the girls that she already had some), and dice with sexy bedroom suggestions and body parts. She had to admit, the girls had very good taste in lingerie and there were quite a few things she knew Deeks would like, including a Wonder Woman set that Nell had handed her with a very cheeky grin on her face. Something told her that Deeks might receive a complementary set of boxers.

"Girls," Kensi looked at all of them, their faces smiling and wonderful. "You're amazing. Thank you."

"We just had to KayKay! You deserve it," Kat said.

Nell reached over and squeezed her hand. Kensi floated on cloud nine for the rest of the ride home.

* * *

Deeks was in bed watching TV when she returned. Monty barked and jumped off Deeks' pillow to greet her and then followed her, tail wagging happily, back into the bedroom. Kensi dropped her bag by the door and then flopped face first onto the sheets.

"Well hi there," Deeks said in amusement. "I take it you had a fun weekend?"

"I need a vacation to recover from my friends." Kensi's voice was muffled because she refused to lift her head.

"Welcome to how the rest of us feel about them."

"How do they have so much energy? They barely eat. They barely sleep. All they do is drink and party and go to day spas."

"Maybe you're just getting too old for their shenanigans."

Kensi lifted her head and glared at him. "This from the man who nearly got murdered and had to become a stripper AT HIS OWN BACHELOR PARTY."

He winced. "Yeah you're not going to let that one go anytime soon huh?"

"Oh. No. Definitely not. You're going to be hearing about that one for a looooooong time," she said as she pulled herself up to sit next to him.

"Ah well. At least it'll be a fun story to share with the grandkids."

"You're not sharing it with kids of any kind."

"And you're not sharing it with my mother," he said knowingly.

She raised her eyebrows and smirked. "Behave and I won't have to."

"Seriously, did you have fun though?" he asked.

She kissed his cheek. "Yeah, I did. I'm freaking starving right now though."

"I thought you might be. I ordered pizza. Should be here in about thirty minutes."

"Oh my god," she stared at him in wonder. "I really am marrying the perfect man."

She leaned over to kiss him and then upped the ante by swinging a leg over to straddle his hips. "Watcha doing there babe?" he asked in between kisses.

"Well," she grinned and sat up, slowly sliding the zipper down the back of her dress, "the pizza's not coming for thirty minutes. And I did just spend an entire weekend in Vegas. I thought I might show you a few tricks I learned from a stripper there."

"I thought what happened in Vegas stayed in Vegas," he said cheekily.

She smiled. "I won't tell if you won't."

* * *

A/N: Thank you again for making it to the end. And thanks again for helping get me to 100 fics! I couldn't have done it without your support and amazing reviews. You are the best!


End file.
